Hanna Hudson
Morgan Marcotte
Jim Roush

Speaker: How to Watch Your Brother Die

In the narrative poem, “How to Watch Your Brother Die” by Michael Lassell, it tells a story about a man’s journey dealing with his brother’s impending death from AIDS.
In the beginning of the poem, the speaker is trying to prepare himself to be strong, not only for himself, but for his brother too. On arrival at the hospital, however, he realizes that there is one more person depending on his strength as well; his brother’s male lover whom he has never met before. He tries very hard to appear accepting of him by breaking the ice with, “‘You’re an extremely good-looking young man’” (l. 24-25). The speaker appears accepting of the lover, even though throughout the poem, it is apparent that he is coaching himself, drilling into his mind the noble things to say, in fear that he may say the wrong thing. He maintains the act of mentally telling himself what to do. “Feel,” “Say,” and “Think” are some of the commands he gives himself (l. 44, 47, 49). These actions imply that the speaker feels uncomfortable in the situation he is in, enough so that he needs to remind himself how to feel and what to think.
Throughout the poem it is clear that the narrator has had a difficult time accepting his brother in the past. It seems as though they have had many differences in their lives, which is part of the reason they have grown so far apart. The speaker really does not understand why his brother could love another man, such as a husband would love his wife, but he forces himself to put this confusion aside and focus only on positive dialog so as not to spoil the farewell meeting with his brother.
Next, the speaker goes through his mental laundry list of thing that he might be able to do to help save his brother’s life. “Drive to Mexico for unapproved drugs that might help him live longer” (l. 38-39) is one example.
As the poem continues, the speaker reveals that no matter what he does to not make a scene throughout this emotional series of events, he really wants nothing to do with anything beyond the brotherly love he has for his brother. This sentiment is exemplified by the authors description of the speaker’s trip to the airport when his brother’s lover says, “‘Forgive yourself for not wanting to know him after he told you. He did’” (l. 84-85). Upon hearing this, the speaker makes a dramatic turnabout in his perspective. He now feels that the barriers have come down and that he has made peace with the now departed brother.
Going forward, he will be open to the male-to-male-affection, such as a father and son might share with a hug, or goodnight kiss on the cheek. As the speaker flies home, he thinks about this future relationship with his children and “how your children will feel in your arms, warm and friendly and without challenge” (l.98-99). Had the speaker not been so closed minded earlier in his relationship with his brother, he would have seen that he himself was actually more accepting to the situation than he would have originally believed, because his brother had already forgiven him.


Works Cited

Lassell, Michael. "How to Watch Your Brother Die." Literature Across Cultures. 5th ed. Gillespie, Sheena, et. al. New York: Pearson Longman, 2008. 370-372. Print.